I don't know if it just hadn't been real to me, up to that point, or if I was getting cold feet, or... I don't know what. But actually going to withdraw from the university gave me a lot of visceral second thoughts. Was I really doing this?

I didn't have a particularly deep life in Vancouver, but I had a home town, I had family, I had a career I'd slowly been building toward, designing computer hardware, a little bit of programming. Was this real? Was I really walking away from this?

I looked over at Síle, who was looking around at everything still, trying to drink it all in before she left it, potentially forever. She didn't see the worried look on my face. Where did my resolve from the night before go? I didn't hate where I lived on Earth, or my circumstances. But this would be the first definitive step toward abandoning it.

I didn't want to have to choose.

"Are you okay, Alyx?" Síle asked, finally looking over at me.

"I don't know," I mumbled.

She took my hand and squeezed it.

I kept walking.

"So you'll be moving away?" the advisor asked me. "For a few months, or...?"

"I guess... I may not be coming back."

The melancholy in my voice caused her eyes to go sympathetic.

"Hmm," the advisor thought. "I mean, if you are just going to be out for a year, we might be able to cancel your classes and then you wouldn't have to apply all over again."

I raised an eyebrow at Síle. "I can take a year off," I said to her in Clair. "That's ten in Shanaclair."

"Wow," she mouthed.

I looked back to the advisor. "If things change," I continued in English, "I guess I can come back?"

The advisor nodded. "Yep, just come back here."

"And if I don't?"

"You can fully withdraw online," the advisor said. "But at least this way, you can have some time in case your plans change."

I took a deep breath and then let it out.

"Okay. Let's do that, then."

Having taken the first step, it oddly felt like the rest of the path would be no trouble. I guess some part of me figured that as long as I hadn't acted on it, I could stand at the starting line forever. But that was never really in the cards, was it?

I looked at my arms, where Danna's Touch had started to fade a little, somehow. Maybe being away from Shanaclair. I could deal with that; there were a lot of tattoo places in Vancouver if I wanted to keep it. But my voice had become scratchy again, dipping back into its old register a little bit. My face was more fuzzy that day. I knew what it meant.

The Change that had come to me in Shanaclair was backsliding. Danna in her absence couldn't keep me there. I was turning biologically male again. And in my reaction to that realization, I knew two things.

One, that I'd absolutely made the right choice by embracing the Change, pronouns and all.

Two, that peace was never an option. Danna had me. I would do whatever it took to hold on to this. Whatever she wanted.

"Let's get lunch," I said to Síle. "My turn to pick something for you. And then we have friends to meet!"

"... harder to understand ..." she replied; I didn't understand a surprising number of her words.

I just made ahh sounds and mimed putting food into my mouth, and understanding lit up her face.

She'd had pizza, so I figured it was time to introduce Síle to the joys of wraps. We'd headed to the Nest to grab something we could take outside where the pagan club was probably meeting.

I bought one first, to show her what it was, and she said, "ahh, okay," and nodded.

We walked back over to the counter, and I had a moment of deja vu from an earlier scene. This time, I knew how the ordering worked, and I spoke the language. I turned to her again.

"Should I?" I asked, keeping it simple since we were having some trouble with speech. She nodded, and I turned back to the guy waiting for me.

"I guess just make another one of these?" I asked, holding up my wrap.

"Uhh..." the person pondered. "Flour wrap, chicken, brown rice, lettuce, tomatoes, caesar dressing?"

"Yep. Sorry!"

"No worries!"

We waited by the register, and Síle reached over and squeezed my hand, smiling at me. This all had to have been a lot to take in, since we crossed La Lune. I wondered what she was feeling about it but felt hesitant to try to ask. I had to admit some jealousy about Mom's casual fluency in Clair.

"Doing okay?" I asked in Clair. She nodded.

"How would you like to pay?" the wrapista asked.

"Credit."

"Okay, go ahead when you're ready."

After a few seconds, I held my phone above the reader, and a beep later, everything was paid for.

Síle stared at the reader after the beep sounded, perplexed. I handed her the wrap, and we headed outside to the lawn where the pagans would be hanging out. While we walked, I sent a text to a friend in the EE lab.

"Well, look who the cat dragged in," a familiar voice called out, waving. "Plus fren!"

I pointed to each of them in turn, saying their names.

"Everyone," I said as I sat down and patted the grass next to me, "this is Síle, of An Gleann, Shanaclair."

She looked over at me, surprised.

"I thought you were keeping that a secret," she said.

"Hey, I understood all of that again," I replied happily. "It's okay, these guys are safe."

"Of where?" MacKenzie asked. "Like, Ireland or something? What language did you just magically just learn?"

She had a point...? Maybe Danna was giving me a language boost, and being back on Earth was taking it again, just like my voice.

"It's called Clair," I replied. "I found my way to a parallel world full of magic. And pretty girls."

I gave Síle a gentle elbow. She had already started on her wrap.

They all just stared at me until MacKenzie started laughing, then everyone else did too.

"Well, I can't argue that point," MacKenzie said, wiggling her eyebrows.

I repeated some of that to Síle, and she promptly blushed.

"Fuck, Alyx," MacKenzie said, "those are some sweet tats. How did you convince your mom to let you? I know how she is."

Her faux English accent on that last part was bad, but I didn't call her on it.

"These aren't tattoos," I replied. "They're called Danna's Touch. It's a mark of the goddess."

Jen looked at me uneasily. "You're not joking, are you?"

"No," I said, shaking my head.

"Danna," I heard Jen mutter. "Is that like, Danu? Tuatha Dé Danann?"

Síle's eyes shot over to Jen. "Tua na Danna?" she asked in Clair. People of Danna?

The two stared at each other as if they could will an understanding into existence.

"Anyway, I'm here today on an off-day to withdraw from UBC," I said, drawing all attention back to myself. "I'm moving away for a while and just wanted to come see everyone first. And to see if anyone wanted to play tourist in another world, for a bit."

I'd show them my pictures, but those weren't much proof anymore.

I dug a one marque copper coin out of my day pack and flipped it into the air, catching it between my hands, then handed it over to Jen.

"True story, Flo! Text me if anyone wants to go hiking next Saturday."